Most of you will not know this, but this is my first post in over a year. In fact, I had unsubscribed from my webhost and deleted my website, planning to never deal with a website again.
“Why?”, you may ask. Well, when I decided to be done with this project, I told people that I didn’t really want to do it because I wasn’t enjoying it, nobody visited it, it was a waste of time and I didn’t need the stress. Sound like good reasons to give it up, right? Too bad most of it wasn’t true.
I’ve experienced a lot of things in my life since deleting this site and one very painful thing that I learned in the process is that I was afraid of people. I was afraid of what they thought and what they might say. I was afriad I would be harrassed or be asked tough questions that I couldn’t answer. I might be ridiculed and rejected. I wouldn’t be liked.
Ever been there? Unless you are very unusual, I know you have to some degree. For some of us though, it can be a very overwhelming problem. I, for instance, did not come from a loving, accepting environment. As a child and teen I was surrounded by negative, inconsiderate, critical, and, in a few cases, kind but incapable people and found myself struggling to get through the normal things of life without much adult help. I quickly learned that I had to be “good” and “nice”…I had to please people so I could avoid ridicule and get the help and care I needed.
Well, turns out you carry that kind of thing into your adult life and you don’t even know it. I found myself avoiding rocking the boat in any way and never sharing too much of myself for fear of confrontation, ridicule or rejection, and I didn’t even realize I was doing it. At least not to the extent that I was. Eventually the realization that I had a serious people pleasing/fear of people problem caused me to pray for God’s help as I did alot of reading and meditating on Scripture and related material, as well as much deep soul searching. Lets just say this has not been a pleasant thing to discover about myself and an even harder thing to fix.
I knew God didn’t approve of people pleasing and fear of man. Here are a few Bible verses on the subject.
Proverbs 29:25 Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the LORD means safety.
Isaiah 51:12 “I—yes, I—am the one who comforts you. Who are you, that you are so afraid of humans who will die, descendants of mere men, who have been made like grass?
Isaiah 51:7 “Hear me, you who know what is right, you people who have taken my instruction to heart: Do not fear the reproach of mere mortals or be terrified by their insults.
1 Peter 3:14 But and if ye suffer for righteousness’ sake, happy are ye: and be not afraid of their terror, neither be troubled;
Galatians 1:10 Am I saying this now to win the approval of people or God? Am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be Christ’s servant
1 Thessalonians 2:4 But as we were allowed of God to be put in trust with the gospel, even so we speak; not as pleasing men, but God, which trieth our hearts.
There are many more verses telling us not to fear people, but I think you get the idea.
My next step was to figure out why had this problem. That is when I realized it stemmed from childhood, when I depended on other people to take care of me. Now, as an adult, I realize that it is ultimatley GOD who takes care of us, not people. GOD is my provider, not man. ANYTHING I need will be provided by my Heavenly Father. Yes, He may send it through a person or persons, but, it still came from Him, not them. That means that I no longer have to be false or fearful. I can be myself and speak truth without fear of what someone may think or say. I don’t have to please people so that they will like me and help me, because they are not my providers. God loves me more than any person ever could and will provide ALL my needs, even if He has to raise up a rock to bring those needs to me.
Here are some verses:
Psalm 56:10-11 I praise God for what he has promised; yes, I praise the LORD for what he has promised. I trust in God, so why should I be afraid? What can mere mortals do to me?
Romans 8:31 What can we say about all of this? If God is for us, who can be against us?
Philippians 4:19. And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.
2 Peter 1:3. Seeing that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence.
Matthew 6:31-33. Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
Now that I accept that God the Father, alone, is my provider, I no longer have to people please. I don’t have to worry if someone agrees with me or not. I don’t have to be afraid that they will dislike me and not help me because I don’t need anything from other people. ALL my needs are met by God, including love and acceptance. I can now be open and honest when dealing with others without fear of their response. I can interact with other people without needing or expecting anything from them. This is more freeing than I can possible convey in this article and the glory for it belongs to God because He has worked long and hard to get me to this point!
So here I am, back to share what I know about God’s truth in an effort to help fellow truth seekers and bring God some glory. I can now share it with joy! I can offer praises to Him for all He does, and continues to do, without worrying about what someone else thinks or says, because I know that everything I have, including my sense of worth, comes from Him and Him alone, and He will continue to meet my needs in the future!
Lets get back to learning about God..without fear!
5 thoughts on “We are not to fear people…but I did.”
Thank you for coming back to this platform. This post from you is super important. Fear of people is a major concern, especially when discussing Godly views on controversial topics, some things that are mainstream are not Godly, and people do not want to hear the truth. Thank you for this message, we all need to pray against the fear of man. Glad to have you back.
Thank you so much for the kind welcome. I see by what you wrote that you understand exactly what I am talking about. It is difficult to go against the tide in this world and the mainstream folks can be some of the nastiest to those who don’t toe the established line….but it has to be done. Thank you again and God bless. =)
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Thanks for sharing this.
It’s sad how much our childhood can already ruin us and we don’t even realize it. I was so afraid to be honest about anything for a long time because I saw the consequences of that. I thought I had to be what people wanted me to be in order to be valuable and accepted.
After I became a believer it changed but it was still hard for me to admit how much I care about what others think and how much it influenced me. I also had to learn I depend on God and I just have to look up to Him instead of worrying about what people think and say.
God bless you
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Thanks so much for taking the time to comment. Childhood does indeed do a lot of damage to many of us…if not most of us…and it is a long, hard road to learning not to care what people think. The only way a person can do that is to know that it is God’s opinion that matters, not people’s. He loves us and He takes care of us. God bless. =)
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